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Home is home, as the devil
said when he found himself in the Court of Session. - English
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A lawyer's
opinion is worth nothing unless paid for. - English
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A client
twixt his attorney and counsellor is like a goose twixt two foxes. -
English
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A good
lawyer, an evil neighbor. - English, French, Spanish
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God save us
from a lawyer's etcetera. - French
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Preachers
purge the conscience, doctors the body, lawyers the purse. - German
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Lawyers and
soldiers are the devil's playmates.- German
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Go to law for
a sheep and lose your cow. - German
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A lawyer and
a wagon-wheel must be well greased. - German
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New laws are
followed by new tricks. - German
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The better
lawyer, the worse Christian. - Dutch
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"Virtue
is in the middle," said the devil, as he sat down between two lawyers. -
Danish
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Lawyers and
painters can soon change black to white. - Danish
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One goes to
court with one lawsuit and comes home with two. - Danish
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A lawsuit is
a fruit-tree planted in a lawyer's garden. - Italian
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A bad
agreement is better than a good lawyer. - Italian
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A happy death
is better than a lawsuit. - Spanish
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A peasant
between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Catalan
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Law is a flag
and gold is the wind that makes it wave. - Russian
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When God
wanted to chastise man He invented lawyers. - Russian
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"I think
we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters." - John Keats,
letter to George & Georgiana Keats, 13 March 1819
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Lawyers are
like rhinoceroses: thick-skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. -
David
Mellor, Question Time, BBC1, 3 December 1992
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When two dogs
fight for a bone and a third runs off with it, there's a lawyer among the dogs. -
German
proverb
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Doctors and
lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great
sacrifice to their first wives. - Roy Blount
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Love all men
but not lawyers - Irish Proverb
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"Have
you a criminal lawyer in this burg?" "We think so, but we haven't been able to
prove it on him yet." - Carl Sandburg, The People, Yes, 1936
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The lawyers
rejected the counsel of God. - Luke 7:30
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Woe unto you,
lawyers! - Ibid., 11:52
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When you have
no basis for argument, abuse the plaintiff. - Cicero, Pro Flacco
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The first
thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - Shakespeare, Henry VI, Part 2, c. 1591
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My suit has nothing to do
with the assault, or battery, or poisoning, but is about three goats, which, I complain,
have been stolen by my neighbor. This the judge desires to have proved to him; but you,
with swelling words and extravagant gestures, dilate on the Battle of Cannae, the
Mithridatic war, and the perjuries of the insensate Carthaginians, the Syllae, the Marii,
and the Mucii. It is time, Postumus, to say something about my three goats. -
Martial, Epigrams, VI.
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Lawyers use the law as
shoemakers use leather; rubbing it, pressing it, and stretching it with their teeth, all
to the end of making it fit their purposes. - Ascribed to Louis XII of France
(1462-1515)
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Among the learned the
lawyers claim first place, the most self-satisfied class of people, as they roll their
rock of Sisyphus and string together six hundred laws in the same breath, no matter
whether relevant or not, piling up opinion on opinion and gloss on gloss to make their
profession seem the most difficult of all. Anything which causes trouble has special merit
in their eyes. - Desiderius Erasmus, Praise of Folly, 1509
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One thing I supplicate
your majesty: that you will give orders, under a great penalty, that no bachelors of law
should be allowed to come here [the New World]; for not only are they bad themselves, but
they also make and contrive a thousand inequities. - Vasco Nuñez de Balboa to
Ferdinand V of Spain, 1513
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[The Utopians] have no
lawyers among them, for they consider them as a sort of people whose profession it is to
disguise matters. - Sir Thomas More, Utopia, c. 1516
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There is no cause so bad
which does not find a lawyer to defend it. - François Rabelais, Pantagruel, 1532
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Little money, little
law. - Anonymous, The Parliament of Byrdes, c. 1550
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Such poor folk as to law
do go
are driven oft to curse:
But in mean while, the Lawyer thrives,
the money in his purse. - Isabella Whitney, A Sweet Nosegay or Pleasant Posye
Containing a Hundred and Ten Phylosophicall Flowers, 1573
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Lawyers and physicians are
an ill provision for any country. - Michel de Montaigne, Essays, III, 1588
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A man may as well open an
oyster without a knife as a lawyer's mouth without a fee. - Barten Holyday,
Technogamia, 1618
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The devil makes his
Christmas-pie of lawyers' tongues and clerks' fingers. - Thomas Adams, Sermons, 1629
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Lawyers are accounted
knaves over all the country. - Anonymous, The Countryman's Care, 1641
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These men of Law and their
confederates ... the caterpillars of this Kingdom, who with their uncontrolled exactions
and extortions, eat up the free-born people of this Nation. - Bathsua Makin, The
Malady ... and Remedy of Vexations and Unjust Arrests and Actions, 1646
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Litigious terms, fat
contentions, and flowing fees. - John Milton, Tractate on Education
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With books and money
plac'd, for show,
Like nest-eggs, to make clients lay,
And for his false opinions pay.
No lawyer will ever go to heaven
so long as there is room for more in hell. - French proverb
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"Yes, Jamie, he was a
bad man, but he might have been worse; he was an Irishman, but he might have been a
Scotchman; he was a priest, but he might have been a lawyer." - Samuel Parr of
James O'Coighy, hanged for treason on 7 June 1798
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Few lawyers die well, few
physicians live well. - English proverb
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Ye who plead for the poor,
and take money at their hands.
Ye lawyers, ye advocates, be sure of this:
When ye draw near to death, and pray for pardon,
Your pardon at your parting hence will be but small. - Saint Matthew bids me tell you
this, and if I lie, blame him
William Langland, Piers Plowman, 14th century
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Here lies John Shaw,
Attorney-at-law;
And when he died,
The Devil cried,
"Give us your paw,
John Shaw
Attorney-at-law!" - H. J. Loaring, Epitaphs Quaint, Curious and Elegant, 1872
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Why does a hearse horse
snicker
Hauling a lawyer away? - Carl Sandburg, The Lawyers Know Too Much, 1920
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Daniel Webster: You seem
to have an excellent acquaintance with the law, sir.
The Devil: Sir, that is no fault of mine. Where I come from, we have always gotten the
pick of the Bar. - Stephen Vincent Benét, The Devil and Daniel Webster, 1939
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He saw a
lawyer killing a viper On a dunghill hard by his own stable, And the Devil smiled, for it
put him in mind Of Cain and his brother Abel. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Devil's
Thoughts, 1799
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